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Marriage III: Out Of Order (Marriage And The Church)

Posted by Job on March 1, 2007

Ephesians 5:25,26 – Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 

In Marriage II, we discussed how marriage people should seek obedience and submission to God first, and hence it should be viewed in the context of your relationship with God as opposed to your relationship with your partner. So, if your marriage is happy, it is only because God made it so because you and your spouse obeyed Him. And if your marriage is unhappy, it is no different from any other obstacle or trial that you must face and overcome with your faith in and obedience to God, and that if you remain faithful and obedient to God He will reward you with the victory!  

With that in mind, please consider I Timothy 3:2, a thought repeated in I Timothy 3:12 and in Titus 1:6. In them, Paul commands that church officials be people with successful holy marriages and families. The reason is given in I Timothy 3:5, wherein Paul states that a person must be able to run his own house righteously before he can run the house of God in the same manner. Now keep in mind that in Marriage II, we related that marriage was established by God before the establishment of any church or even any worship of God! Also, before any church or any worship was established by God, God still gave the married couple instructions, expected them to keep them, and grievously punished them for failing to do so! Adam and Eve could not complain to God after they ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil that it wasn’t their fault; that they did not have the benefit of a church with its pastor, doctrine, and congregation of the righteous to help teach, condition, and guide them. God gave them Commandments, they failed to obey, and they were punished in accordance with their disobedience.  

So, when we consider what God gave to Moses in Genesis (that marriage and God’s Commandments to man preceded the church and worship) and what God gave through Paul in his letters (that church officials must first demonstrate righteousness in their own homes) it is obvious that righteousness can and should exist in the home separate from and prior to righteousness in any church. We should seek and establish righteousness in the home before we go seeking anything from the church. Once we have established that righteousness in the home and within ourselves, we are supposed to bring God’s Order and Righteousness into the church to make the church righteous. But instead, we have it backwards. We do not bring our families to church with the KNOWLEDGE that by our righteous presence we are making the church righteous. We bring our families to church with the HOPES that by going to church our families and our homes will be made righteous! 

Now keep in mind, I am not talking about sinners looking for salvation. I am talking about people who have been in the church a long time; who have grown up in the church and know the doctrine, know the rituals, and either know the Bible or know where they can easily get one. These people think that they can do whatever they want to at home, watch whatever they want to on TV, see whatever they want to at the movies, go wherever they want to with whomever they want to for entertainment, and act however they choose at work or in business negotiations, let their kids do whatever they want after their own example (or even worse, try to impose upon their kids righteousness which they themselves do not even aspire to) and then go sit in church and expect the church to make a change in their lives. Now maybe this situation would be manageable if it were only a small percentage of the church and everyone else could advise them otherwise and get them to change their ways. But it has gotten to the point now where the majorities of most church bodies are this way!  

We have forgotten that in the Jewish Age, the church (or synagogue or tabernacle) was the congregation of the righteous. That means that you had to ALREADY be righteous before you even went inside! The sinners and the unclean were not permitted inside! They had to stay outside and have the priests intercede for them with burnt sacrifices and prayer before they could even go inside! Now that we are in the church age under grace rather than the Jewish age under the law, we think that we can sit up in the church as sinners in the presence of a bunch of other people who are sinners and somehow find favor with God. It would be one thing if all of us sinners were in church admitting what sinners we are and asking God to change us. But no, we all sit as sinners in church, with corrupt minds, homes, and marriages, thinking that we are just great. Because we go to church every Sunday, we think that God is going to preserve our marriages no matter what we do. And this is precisely the thinking that has our divorce rates just as high as it is for non – Believers.

The current religious system has it inbred into us that we absolutely cannot miss church. This is for two reasons. 1) The religious system needs full churches on Sunday to project the appearance of righteousness to the nonreligious. 2) The religious system needs regular tithes and offerings for its financial support, for they have no connection with God and is hence incapable of being sustained by miracles and blessings through faith. So, the notion that a family should just stay away from the whole religious pomp and exercise for awhile and use that time to pray, seek God in submission and repentance, and beg God to transform their marriage, family, and homes from sinners to righteous before they come back to church is unthinkable. Yet that is what people need to hear! 

You have to realize that our religious system of immaculate sanctuaries and corporate or governmental style bureaucracies is not how it always was. Quite the contrary, the early Believers mostly met in homes. They had to, for Christians were persecuted outlaws, and meeting in church or otherwise in public would have meant notifying the authorities, who would have carried them off to the lions! So there was no “church” for Believers to go to in order to get right. Your HOME already had to be right before Believers would meet in it! When you see the letters to the churches that made up the post gospels (and Acts) portion of the New Testament, you realize that these did not describe buildings or denominations. They described extensive networks of people regularly meeting in each other’s homes for prayer, Bible study, praise, worship, and outreach to the poor and sick. As a matter of fact, this was based on the pre – existing Jewish worship structure: when you were not at the temple and had no access to a rabbi or Levite, you had your own worship observance in your own home. Recall, for instance, that the first Passover observance was in
Egypt in the home of each individual Jew! This religious structure existed until
Constantine outlawed home religious observances, when centralized public worship in large numbers became the norm. But even then, in many instances, home worship had to persist because of persecution. Yet today in communist, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, etc. countries, Believers meet in each other’s homes. In those places, the basic building block of the religious unit is the very same as it was in the beginning: the family, with the church being built upon the righteousness of the family.

Now we have departed from that, and we are looking to the church to make the family righteous. Some church groups try by imposing strict codes of legalism on behavior that denies the Transforming Power of the Holy Spirit through God’s Love and what Christ did for us with on the cross, with His Blood, and through His Resurrection. Such results in a form of godliness while denying the power thereof, and hence becomes an apostate blasphemous heretical form of Christianity. As Paul stated in II Timothy 3:5, from such turn away! But also turn away from those churches who do not even bother with the appearance of righteousness. You have the hypocrite churches where they preach against sin but everyone does it anyway (and what is more they do it with each other, everyone knows about it, but nothing ever gets done about it) and the permissive churches were “judge not” and “let he who is without sin cast the first stone” are the governing principles; churches where living holy and demanding it of others is actually frowned upon.  

This situation exists because individual Believers have departed from God’s Way and have gone to the ways and institutions of man. We want to please God, be righteous, do His Will, and go to Heaven, but we want to do it our way, with our traditions, institutions, and rules. So many people have been brought up knowing nothing but this corrupt system that they are wholly ignorant of any other. Many of them want to remain that way. But thank God there is a remnant! There is a remnant out there that is seeking to exceed the righteousness of the Pharisees, scribes, and Sadducees so that they can enter into the

Kingdom of
Heaven! And these are the people who know that it all starts at home.

These are the people who are able to look to Adam and Eve and realize that Adam and Eve failed to keep corruption out of their home, which was the Garden of Eden. They failed to keep corruption out of their marriage. They failed to prevent their son Cain from becoming a sinner. And their failure became the fall of mankind. Adam and Eve did not enter into sin because they failed to keep the pronouncement of some church. They entered into sin because they personally failed to keep God’s Commandments; they personally failed to love God with all their souls, hearts, and minds. And so many members of the church are following their example. So few are following the example of Joseph and Mary. Joseph and Mary lived in a time when so many of the Jewish religious leaders and rulers had lost their faith and turned against God. But Mary was individually righteous, so God used her to conceive and carry Jesus. Joseph was individually righteous, so God gave Joseph Mary in marriage. And Joseph and Mary came together to create a righteous marriage, family, and home, which led to their going to Bethlehem to fulfill the prophecy of the child being born there, their fleeing to Egypt to save the child’s life, and even some of the siblings of Jesus being leaders in the early church.  

Right now, God wants people who are not content to sit in corruption thinking that they are or will be saved and who have a burning desire to come out of that corruption so that they can be saved (Revelation 18:4). Right now, God wants Believers who are going to stand up and be righteous in their marriages, homes, and families, and then go to their churches and stand for that righteousness. God wants True Believers that He can use to overthrow and replace the corrupt religious system in these last days just as Moses, Josiah, and Jesus and the apostles did. Do you want to be one of those people? If so, it does not start in the church. Why? Because you have been to church all of your life. You know all about church. What you need to start knowing about is God through His Word and His Spirit. It starts within you, with your commitment to live for Your God in your home and in your marriage. It starts with you making your body God’s Body, your home God’s Home, and your marriage God’s Marriage. Once you do that, then you can start making a difference in your life, your marriage, your home, your church, and your world. Won’t you join us today? Won’t you start today? Please, say the Salvation Prayer right now, and begin to transform that which is dead, instead of waiting in vain for something that is dead and fake to transform you. 


Father God in the Name of Jesus Christ, may Your Believers realize that righteousness begins at home and begin living it so that they may be made holy by You, and so that their example will lead to others looking upon them and seeking to be made holy by You as they were. In the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen! 


The demons that work in this area are false teachings, false religions, and false doctrines. Please read the Basic Spiritual Warfare guide to learn more about how to go against these demons to help set captives free and win battles in the name of your God through the power, authority, and victory given to you by his Son Jesus Christ and by his blood shed for you!


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