Heal The Land Daily Devotional Archives

Devotionals By The Heal The Land Ministry


Posted by Job on March 1, 2007

Proverbs 21:9 – It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.

Proverbs 21:9 was written by Solomon, who had many wives and concubines as well as a every other imaginable earthly pleasure. Yet for all that he had, Solomon was not happy! Not only did he not enjoy everyday life, but he got to the point where NOTHING pleased him! A person might look at Proverbs 21:9 and blame the women in his life. Certainly Solomon’s problem was that among his many wives and concubines, he had made the mistake of taking up with some women who came short of the virtue described in Proverbs 31 by King Lemuel. Certainly Solomon’s problem was that his wives and concubines failed to submit to him as the head, as instructed in Ephesians 5:22 – 24 and Colossians 3:18. So, it is very tempting to see Proverbs 21:9 as another example of a man having “woman problems” and therefore pity him … especially if you are a man!

But as careful Bible readers know, things are more than they appear. For one, where Solomon oft appeared to partake in near – misogynistic bashing of women, he was usually talking about obedience to God’s word. For example, his exhortations to “avoid the strange woman” lest he be destroyed by her treachery or killed by her jealous husband in Proverbs 5 and Proverbs 7 (among other places) was not a warning to virtuous men to steer clear of women of ill repute, but rather to the nation of Israel from sinning against God, especially through idolatry. (Recall that God often used the terms “whoredoms”, “adulteries”, and other explicit sexual imagery to refer to idolatry and witchcraft.) Some might say that Solomon’s choice of analogy – as well as his detailed description of seductions that end disastrously for the male – nonetheless revealed some ill feelings against women. That might be a possibility were it not for the fact that Solomon was already building upon a longstanding pre – existing analogy, and Solomon’s tender, reverential treatment of the female in Song of Solomon (even if Solomon’s true love is the word of God, as some readers believe, and not the Queen of Sheba, as most assert).

Even if Solomon had bad experiences with women that at least INFLUENCED his negative treatment of women – creative analogy or otherwise – in Proverbs and Ecclesiastes with Proverbs 21:9 in particular, we should focus on WHY Solomon had those bad experiences. In other words, despite the inclinations of most men (and many old – fashioned women) to blame the women in Solomon’s life for Solomon’s problems and by extension modern women for the problems of modern men, the opposite is the case! To all men of the world, God made us the head! We are as Adam in the Garden of Eden! We are not to be as the very anti – chivalrous Adam when he tried to blame Eve for his error! Quite the opposite, had Adam retained his integrity before God, he could have redeemed Eve with his actions! But God put HIM in charge of the Garden, and HIS failure to obey God resulted in the downfall of BOTH! As a matter of fact, some students of the Word have asserted that God never even told Eve not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil; that he merely told Adam, expecting Adam to instruct and watch over Eve as he did everything else. Adam made the mistake of following Eve into perdition instead of leading her to righteousness. So the truth is that rather than Adam being upset with Eve (and men doing so to women ever since), Eve should have been upset with ADAM (and women doing so to men ever since)! So men, STOP BLAMING THE WOMEN IN YOUR LIVES FOR YOUR PROBLEMS! DO NOT BLAME YOUR MOTHER! DO NOT BLAME YOUR SISTER! DO NOT BLAME YOUR WIFE, EX OR OTHERWISE! IT IS NOT ABOUT THEM! IT IS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR OBEDIENCE TO GOD!

The irony is that Solomon’s creation of “the strange woman” device to preach to Israel against disobedience in general and idolatry specifically described Solomon’s own fall from grace and set in motion the events that led to the downfall and captivity of Israel and Judah. God specifically told Solomon not to marry non – Hebrew women. Not only that, he told Solomon why … non – Hebrew women would bring their false gods into the relationship, and Solomon, having the same weakness in dealing with women as did other prominent men in the Bible such as Adam, Abraham, Jacob, Samson, and his own father David, would inevitably go after them. Solomon disobeyed God, took non – Hebrew women as his wives and concubines, and ultimately took on their own idolatry. Naturally, this resulted in God’s hand departing from Solomon, and with it the peace and happiness that Solomon enjoyed in his house and his mind. Even the ability to enjoy simple pleasures left him!

As almost always with recalcitrant sinners, Solomon chose not to take responsibility for his own actions, but to blame others. So, he blamed his wives for his problems. Solomon even went so far as to proclaim the very human condition as pointless, worthless, weak, and lamentable … his “all is vanity” complaining in Ecclesiastes. But none of this was so! None of this would have happened had he not taken the idol – worshipping wives. Or even had he taken the idolatrous wives, he could have turned them after God, as did Joseph with his Egyptian wife Asenath, Moses with the Midianiate Zipporah, and Jacob with the two daughters of the idolatrous Laban. (Now recall that God allowed Moses and Joseph to marry outside their race because God knew that those two had stronger character and would not go after their wives’ gods. Note that God severely punished Miriam for speaking against Moses’ marriage: evidence that God WANTS his children to bring people to God! He just does not want the other way around to happen!). But instead, Solomon began worshipping his wife’s gods, bringing despair unto himself. Even worse than the personal toll was that just as Adam’s fall introduced sin to the world, Solomon’s fall introduced idolatry to the Israeli government. Solomon set in motion the series of events that caused the children of Israel’s captivity, just as he predicted in his own sermon dedicating the temple upon its completion!

Solomon’s grievous transgression against God in the matter of his bringing the idolatry of wives and concubines into his house is the first major example of God’s exhortation not to be unequally yoked, especially in marriage. Tragically, Solomon ignored the advice of his own father’s advice in Psalm 1! One could talk about how Solomon’s taking on wives and concubines who were idolatrous witches is precisely how if you marry an unsaved man or woman, you bring their faults, negative histories, abominations, and even literal demons into your own house and – if the issue goes unresolved and you have children – into your own line. Such is a reason why you should only marry – and perhaps even only date – whom God tells you to. God knows your heart and your character, and he does not want you to endanger your own soul by marrying, which is supposed to join two into one flesh for the purpose of pleasing and coming closer to God. There are going to be times when God commands a saved person to marry a sinner for God’s own purposes, including but not limited to the saved person leading his spouse to Christ and producing children who will obey God. Even then, God has to pick the sinner, which will be someone who has a heart to follow God once shown the way.

But men who have “woman problems” as did Solomon are those who do not follow God. Either they did not marry the person that God wanted them to marry, or after the marriage they have failed to completely follow God. How can you expect your woman to submit to you if you are not submitting to your God? What kind of hypocrite are you? Even worse, what are you setting yourself up to be? God? Greater than God? If some person on earth has to submit to you while you submit to no one, then you are setting yourself above God himself! So of course God is not going to bless the marriage of a person with such a repulsive character towards him. God is not going to bless the affairs of ANYONE who sets ANYTHING, including HIMSELF, as even with or before God, as an idol.

Remember the Tower of Babel? They were a bunch of people who decided that they were going to challenge God by building a tower to Heaven. God punished them by sending confusion into their ranks; making it impossible for them to communicate with each other. Is not that what is going on in most bad marriages today? The household is confusion, with the man, woman, and children being unable to communicate. Before the Tower of Babel incident, everyone spoke the same language given to man by God. Only after the Babel incident did the speech of man become common earthly speech. By a similar manner, if the man follows God, the communication in the house will be that of Godly discourse. Why? Everyone will be working towards a common goal – heaven and serving God to get there – and following the man towards that end. The corrupt, foolish posturing and disagreements over vain, selfish, corrupt, and temporary things will pass away. Now there will still be trials, because Satan will still attack your family and the household. But in households built upon the obedience of the head, the very gates of hell will not be able to prevail against it! God will be on your side, and you will overcome!

So men of the world, do not be as Solomon, and put the blame on the nagging wife, girlfriend, mistress, or whatever. Instead do as Solomon never did … admit your lack of obedience and integrity before God and repent. Admit to your God that you love yourself more than you love him and ask him to change it. If you do so, then you will walk in prosperity and victory on earth, and more importantly you will be on the track to eternal life in Heaven. Again, I am not going to say that it is going to be easy in your marriage or in your other affairs, because that would be a lie. You will still have your war against Satan’s own kingdom and your war against the flesh. Further, maintaining your own integrity will be no guarantee of the integrity of your wife (even if it is someone that God told you to marry) and your children! Jesus Christ himself warned of the same in Matthew 10:34-35! But even in the midst of your trials in your household and life, if you are obedient you will not share the fate of Solomon … one doomed to have no peace or joy because of your own choice to set yourself against God. And to women and children, this does not exclude you. You have a responsibility to maintain your own integrity, for you are responsible for your own souls!

Prayer:Father God in the name of Jesus Christ, please make me obedient to thy will in all of my ways, and especially in my home and marriage. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen!

Deliverance:The demons that operate in this area are disobedience, rebellion, religion, doctrine, fear, hypocrisy, and self – esteem. Please read the Basic Spiritual Warfare guide to learn more about how to go against these demons to help set captives free and win battles in the name of your God through the power, authority, and victory given to you by his Son Jesus Christ and by his blood shed for you!



  1. Kels said

    This was great and I like the deliverance piece at the end. I never looked at my “issues” demons…it is sin and that comes from evil, so there it is. That hit me hard. I laughed at the Adam and Eve part b/c I was screaming YEAH in my mind, but I went and read Genesis 3…she knew better…she actual told the serpent that she wasn’t to eat from the tree.

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